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My brother started showing symptoms of schizophrenia when he was around 15. I was 12 then. I grew up not knowing what was going on, how to deal with the situation. I formed my own little bubble wrap protection around myself, and created another world for myself.

Decades later, I am still dealing with the impact that his mental illness has had on my family and myself. It sucks beyond anything, and if there were just one thing I would wish for, is that I didn’t have a brother with schizophrenia.

After all this time…

In 2020, I started this blog because that was the height of my depression and confusion and when I was searching for other Siblings’ stories, I realised two things: 1) there weren’t all that many that spoke from the well Sibling’s point of view and 2) reading just the few stories made me feel so…validated. Hearing that other Sibs were feeling all the same confusing and conflicting emotions as I was made me feel much less alone and like a freak.

So I decided to start sharing my journey. As is typical of us Siblings, we tend to ignore our needs, swallow our emotions and usually speak on behalf of our suffering parents and sibling. And that’s what I did. My first few articles show that. But as I went for therapy in 2020, I learned that what I have been through is real, it is childhood trauma and I have a right to my feelings. All the years of being the Invisible Sibling (or the Glass Child as recent trends term it) must no longer be the default case. We need to be seen, by others and by ourselves. So my articles evolved into focusing on the Sibs’ experiences.

Taking it up a notch in the spirit of Sibling solidarity and the desire to help others in my shoes and their parents, I started writing my memoir in 2023. I spent 2024 revising and editing the book, in the midst of huge life events that occupied the second half of the year. Still, I powered on and writing the book has given me even more conviction that the topic of the unseen well Sibling is important, the impact and all the future concerns of Sibs must be shared. After all, research has proven the increased risk of mental health challenges like depression, anxiety and addiction in this group, so with millions of us running around, I think we need to nip a potential mental health crisis in the bud. I’m polishing the book and will be looking for publishers when I am ready; I’ll be sure to share it when it is out!

Let’s journey together.

Meanwhile, I am continuing my mental well-being advocacy efforts by collaborating with like-minded organisations and individuals so if you’re one of them, please drop me a note at yazz@notaprettypicture.com or use the Contact form. Do the same if you have stories to share, you can comment on my posts or email me; I would be happy to work on them with you! Check out the Tell Your Story page for more information.

A special note for Siblings: I want to share real experiences and to let you know that you are not alone. A lifetime of living and learning has taught me that there is no end to being a Sib. I am the last person to tell you that it’s all going to work out, and you know you don’t need to hear that kind of bullshit from me. Hence the blog’s name. I am going to, however, be very frank and share stories of survival and just plain getting by. Hopefully, that gives you some comfort along your journey.

Peace.

Yazz.

A small favour: If you like what you see, please share these stories with anyone who might be interested in them. And it would be greatly appreciated if you could support this voluntary and non-profit initiative by following Not A Pretty Picture on Facebook and @lifeofyasmeenhc on Instagram. Thank you!

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