I am the Well Sibing, the Invisible Child, the Glass Child, however we want to call it, I am the result of having grown up with my brother’s schizophrenia and the impact it has had on me and my family.
Similar to many other Sibs (catch-all term for any well sibling who grew up with their sibling’s illness, disability, high-attention need), I became perfectionistic, hyper-independent, swallowed my feelings and needs and tried not to add any additional burden to the family. Confusing and conflicting feelings followed me throughout my adulthood which would often leave me in a private, sobbing mess, wondering what on earth I, the “high-performing, okay” one, had to cry about.
Until, I finally went for therapy in 2020 and learned about emotional neglect and the impact of growing up the sibling of a special needs child. Since then, I have been advocating about how the whole family is impacted, with a focus on the other well child. In addition to this blog, I speak at events and in the media, write and sing songs about my journey and am a Mental Health Ambassador with one of Singapore’s mental health organisations.
I spent 2023/2024 writing my memoir focusing on my story as the Glass Child. It covers everything from the impact, concerns, coping, therapy, support, future care and much more. I decided to do this to help other Siblings because when I was struggling, it was reading others’ stories online that helped me the most. The book was the toughest thing I’ve had to write because I was super-raw, authentic, no filter and I know I am going to be so nervous when it gets published, but this is my calling. All the pain and my journey has led me to this.
Well, I have written a few articles on this topic before I even started on my book. Below is a consolidated list so if you’re a Sib, a parent of a special needs child or anyone who is interested in what it is like for a Sib, do have a read.
Emotional Neglect—Why You Need to Understand the Impact
Emotional Neglect—And the Role Your Parents Played